You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
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I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
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I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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