Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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