like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize