I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Say something about gay babies.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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