No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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