I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize