Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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