there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
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We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
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He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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