You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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