So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize