the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize