Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You have to summon your inner elephant
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize