Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
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the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
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4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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