I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize