found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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