i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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