Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I need a beard to bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize