I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
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if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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