oh fat girl friday strikes again...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
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You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
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someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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