I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
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It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
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All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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