So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
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couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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