eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
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we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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