3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
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If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
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i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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