Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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