I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
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Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
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Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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