I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
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