Texts From Last Night

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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.

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  (251): I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa. http://tfl.nu/la3v
  Replies (26) Good night (4269) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself

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  (612): I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself http://tfl.nu/0tce
  Replies (6) Good night (531) Bad night (2695) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?

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  (352): Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose? http://tfl.nu/yztp
  Replies (23) Good night (4607) Bad night (625) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts

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  (484): I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts http://tfl.nu/21q5
  Replies (6) Good night (4115) Bad night (875) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick

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  (714): i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick http://tfl.nu/4tuf
  Replies (35) Good night (7442) Bad night (958) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.

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  (417): Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home. http://tfl.nu/79mc
  Replies (12) Good night (2881) Bad night (2697) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.

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  (805): He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head. http://tfl.nu/up5g
  Replies (17) Good night (5764) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS

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  (914): Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS http://tfl.nu/w0yg
  Replies (34) Good night (10597) Bad night (1151) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.

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  (508): Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now. http://tfl.nu/sqxt
  Replies (4) Good night (2187) Bad night (1247) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.

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  (415): he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you. http://tfl.nu/17uy
  Replies (7) Good night (776) Bad night (2658) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either

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  (281): Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either http://tfl.nu/fgrs
  Replies (6) Good night (1454) Bad night (663) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.

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  (949): So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls. http://tfl.nu/e640
  Replies (4) Good night (2098) Bad night (598)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees

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  (+44): I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees http://tfl.nu/l68t
  Replies (6) Good night (612) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??

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  (580): Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come?? http://tfl.nu/rcqs
  Replies (7) Good night (1007) Bad night (382) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me

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  (573): I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me http://tfl.nu/p784
  Replies (13) Good night (1436) Bad night (220) Order T-Shirt

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