Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
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You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
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Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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