clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize