Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
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I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
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You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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