did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
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He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Blow job season was short but glorious.
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We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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