this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
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I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
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Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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