there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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