He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize