he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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