Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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