Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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