Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize