he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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