Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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