Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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