Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
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Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I have already put on my inside pants.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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