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The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
handjob tips. give me some.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
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