someone threw a dead crab at me
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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