So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
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We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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