if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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