I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
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Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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