Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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