ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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