I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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